*** THIS POST IS HEATED***
When I found out I was pregnant with Taylor - my life changed. I instantly had dreams, dreams of her being in every preschool/toddler class I could find for her - Music class, Open Gym, play dates, Mommy and Me tumbling... you name it I thought of it. When she was born at 31 weeks and I saw my daughter for the first time, these dreams changed to just praying she would live. I was raised with the morals of tolerance and acceptance. My parents allowed me to work with special needs kids and they were proud of me for doing it, they also allowed me to take sign language instead of Spanish, knowing that Spanish in this country would get me further - but learning sign language and about the deaf community I learned so much more than another language. I learned acceptance and tolerance far greater than my parents ever taught me.
When Taylor was born super early and missed important milestones in her development, I knew that God has blessed me with the gifts of acceptance and tolerance. At the age of 14 months old, Taylor started therapies. I was thrown into a world that I never dreamed of. But one foot in front of the other, I realized that the toddler music class was probably to loud and that tumbling class? Ya too dangerous. That mommy play group? too loud for Taylor. I threw myself into learning speech therapy skills and how to be a physical therapist and occupational therapist all before I finished my own bachelor's degree. When Taylor started going to day care so I could work, it was not long before I had to pull her out due to behaviors. I saw the stares from the "normal" mothers. It was almost as if they say look at that mother, she doesn't understand the first thing about parenting. Taylor is challenging, she is like a puzzle missing all the right pieces. I have been blessed to meet friends along the way that provide me with encouragement and helpful advice that I do not take as judging. They truly have Taylor's interest at heart and not once have I felt like they have made me feel like a horrible mother.
When Taylor started Pre-KD last year, I admit I had my fears - what will the mom's think of Taylor. Heck what will the teacher's think of my parenting? What I discovered shocked me. This team behind Taylor didn't see my parenting as a mistake, they saw a mother that had tried everything and didn't give up. Now I may not fight doctors for a diagnosis. I just am not that type of Mother - to those Mother's bless you - I admire your ability to juggle everything and still argue with a doctor. I had and have placed all my energy and time in focusing on making Taylor successful. That is just what it is. Taylor has learned so much by allowing me to focus on this. Meal time? Its not a knock down drag out any more. Potty training? Its going.
When I see a child crying in the middle of wal mart or the commissary I do not think oh what the hell is that parent doing? I think oh that poor parent, how embarrassing. The fact of the matter is kids will be kids - I have seen typical kids throw fits far greater than Taylor's. The answer to this is not to "beat the child" as I have seen this week in several cases... the answer is to redirect the child - I have found that when we are going to be going to the grocery store or any store - I bring a long the iPad and iPod and allow my children to play games. I also bring snacks - Lots of them. I get it Mom's who child is screaming like a monster in the middle of the aisle while trying to choose cereal... I get it mom whose kid is crying hysterically in the middle of the department store. I get it. I get it. I get it. I do not think a child that hits will learn anything my hitting him in response to his behavior. They are only going to see well Mommy/Daddy hits when they get upset that is what I am going to do as well. While I think it is important for the parents to teach their children. I do not always believe spanking is the answer. I get it southern people, I get it. You and I both grew up getting spanked. We turned out fine. Heck I spank my own children when they do something bad enough to deserve it. But I do not beat them to the point of no return, which has actually been suggested by a fellow mother to me on several occasions ( we are no longer friends).
Taylor has taught me tolerance and acceptance. I wish that every mom had a kid that taught them these valuable lessons. Sadly these are the parents whose kids will grow up with the same mentality.
Taylor is amazing - she is smart, she may melt down over not being able to find a book or because that particular day it is easier to cry than use her voice to tell me what she needs. The point of this whole post is not just about learning tolerance and acceptance it is about realizing that Taylor is my daughter - your comments and stares can stay to yourself.
