For some reason in the back of my head I thought that Taylor would just never make it back into therapies - I thought that it would never fall into place. But now as I sit here after an afternoon of phone calls, I am stressed, scared and anxious.
I do not know how to prepare Taylor for what is to come, I dont even know how to prepare my husband for it - who has yet to experience it...
For now we have PT twice a week, OT twice a week, Speech twice a week and then somewhere in that mix a developemental pediatrician, neurologist, and eye specialist...
When I talked to the speech therapist on the phone this afternoon, she simply asked the question tell me about Taylor - I asked her where do I start - she said from the moment of her birth - tears, laughter and frustration were all feelings and emotions that came out in this conversation... as I explained the Autism diagnosis - the sensory disorder - the endless attempts at behavior control... she simply told me one thing, " you are a strong mother - some mothers do not even tell me the whole story and I haev to read it in their childs chart, be proud that you can speak about it and are not ashamed..."
The fact is I am ashamed - my body failed the pregnancy and there is nothing I can do to go back in time to change it... I can only look forward - Fix it and keep going... So here is to endless therapies and lots of Coffee!!
I can say this - I am thankful for my daughters.. both of them Taylor is a miracle - I know that my father and God had a hand and pulling her through a scary birth and scary hospital stay. <3
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